Toast Events Real Wedding Invite by Lafabere

Sorry but your kids aren't invited.....

In 2016 I started seeing a shift in couples requesting kidless weddings. Now in 2018, it seems like it's not even a question anymore. Quite simply- they should stay home. I know it sounds harsh. But that seems to be the way. In 2018 I'm seeing "black tie only"....

So obviously I get this question a lot. "How do I tell my guests their kids aren't invited to the wedding?".

STEP ONE: SETTING THE STAGE

And I feel like I've kinda mastered this one in a two step process. It all starts with the method of your message. The first way I suggest, is to subconsciously hint in the RSVP by adding a line that says " We have __#__ seats reserved for you".

If you don't think your guests will get the hint- add "adult only reception" in small letters at the bottom of your main reception invitation.

STEP TWO: THE BOLD

Likely after you've used the first two initiatives- there will be no need for any additional conversation. HOWEVER! If the "bold" decide to +1 their kid on your rsvp, you have but no choice to address the issue.

If this guest is close to you, a personal call is in order. Explain that by having an adult only reception, what your really saying is that you want everyone to have a great evening laughing and dancing while having a few extra drinks without having to leave early because of their kids. What you want to communicate is that your wedding is the perfect excuse to take the night off and truly enjoy it. It's really not about you- it's about them. See how I did that ;) ;)

If the guest isn't close to you, likely it's an invite by your parents- hence they should be the ones to call on your behalf and preach your message.

CONCLUSION

I've never had any issues with the two-pronged attack ;)

I would say that most guests no longer expect to bring their kids for the whole or even part of the wedding. So Don't be shy- what used to be a faux-pas is now the norm.

x Elise

Comment

I always say it's all in the details, but there are those who decorate like a fabric bomb literally exploded in the reception room. Don't shake your head like you don't know what I'm talking about. It's almost like they have a mathematical equation that goes something like this:

Chair covers + Chair Bands + Crystal Broach + Satin linen + Sheer Lace Overlay + Satin Table Runner. And that's just the basic foundation. Then they add.... Gold Charger Plate, Bow-tie Napkin with a Crystal Napkin Ring + Personal Table Menue + Place Card + Bonbonierre + a bedazzled mirror with a cylinder vase with glue gunned crystals........ and in that vase there are water beads and a tinny little florescent light glowing from within............ Then the ceiling swag fairy came and went to town.....

Layers upon layers of decor which will overwhelm your guest into a blur. The biggest and most costly mistake you can make is definitely within your decor budget, because it can start to look tacky reeeaaallllll fast.

My number one piece of advice, "Don't waste your money on trying to have everything while cheaping out along the way. Sacrifice, re-evaluate your priorities and shift the dollars you would have spent on mediocrity towards a larger element that will leave your guests with a lasting impression."

I'll give you a few examples, and if your a client reading this, you might have already heard this story. Back in the day when ghost chairs were only coming out of Toronto with a price tag of $20 per chair, I had a client who just simply had to have them, but couldn't make it work within her budget. So I said "No problem, we'll trick them!". We ordered 1/3 ghost chairs and 2/3 white flip chairs. We used the ghost chairs at square tables and the flips at round tables and strategically laid out our floor plan accordingly. A few months later I heard back from my newlyweds and they said every single guest thought that they were sitting on ghost chairs... they raved about it endlessly. Keep in mind we're talking 2010 when the thought of mixing table types weren't even a design thought in anyone's mind. - I'm actually pretty proud that I hit that before the curve :)

That's just one example of how I design to be budget conscious with intention. In case your curious, here is where we think you should spend your money.